As men grow up they are told to not show their emotions, because only weak men show emotions, or
only women. So they put on a "tough" exterior, act stoic and insensitive at all times, even when
they're out in a purely social environment.
This is far from the truth however, and is a cover for the real problem. Expressing emotions is
never weak, it is the emotions themselves that show a weak side. So when someone expresses these
sensitive emotions, they are exposed as frail and unsure. But instead of pushing outside their
comfort zone, too develop strength and seasoning as men, they choose instead to conceal these
emotions, never dealing with them, never growing.
In reality, the stronger a man is, the more sure of himself he is, the more relaxed he is in his
social environment, the more emotionally expressive he will be. Emotional expressiveness is not a
sign of femininity, but one of comfort with yourself, and a relaxed urge to express who you are.
Someone who is stifled in expressiing emotion, is actually weak. Anyone who is powerful, who leads
and influences, expresses themselves emotionally. In fact, the only way to influence with words is
to communicate them through emotion.
Research studies have shown that nonverbal makes up almost ALL of communication between humans. 93%
to be exact. So anyone who stifles their emotional expressiveness, which is expressed through
nonverbal, loses their ability to communicate.
Now what about the strong silent type? Everyone admires these qualities in a man. But these develop
from a place of seasoning, and life experience. Having dealt with life, having made his mark, and
continuing to take responsibility for everything in his life, whether finances, career, education,
or his day to day well-being and that of everyone in his life; a man develops a certain gravity and
presence about him. He deals with life issues with calm and stoicism, trusting in his ability to
deal with a situation, because he deals with every situation with the same intensity of purpose and
focus. But he's not always like this. As a male who takes charge of his life, and looks out for
others, he gives himself permission to stay positive and project this outward. He's carefree about
spreading the good vibes because he knows this is for the best. This is healthy!
Years of tough living give a man perspective on life. 17 years of mixed martial arts, and a short
career as a military officer has made me realize that the best thing for the people around me, that
look to me for leadership because they trust me, is to lead them into a more positive emotional
state, so they feel unstifled and free to express their creativity, giving themselves more of a
chance to achieve what they want in life. Most inexperienced men do not understand this, and act
from one extreme or the other, acting "tough" or acting just the oppositive; needy and
approval-seeking.
